Steven Wright got bored

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I need a cup or two, or eight.

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'Foster fail, incoming': Couple brings a kitten to foster, two hours later, she's captured the boyfriend's heart and is holding it in her little paw, and they know that it's game over and they have a new cat

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Guy pities neighbor's orange cat and gives him some chicken, the cat keeps hissterically returning with stolen items to trade for treats: 'Today, he brought me a sponge'

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'We've both breached the contract': Landlord illegally enters tenants' apartment when they're not there, the tenants are keeping cats without his knowledge, and they're all stuck in a stalemate because neither can complain

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